The Sleeve Monster

Since there hasn't been a Garden event recently where I've had any funny experiences I figured I would shed some light on something that continually irratates me... The Sleeve Monster.

The Sleeve Monster is a legend of sorts. He lurks in the shadows and when you least expect it he comes out of hiding and just obliterates the sleeves of your shirt. Normally, the Sleeve Monster strikes while on the way to the gym, or out on a hot summer day. Regardless, he can strike when you least expect it. Sometimes, he strikes on your way to class, or when you go over a friends house to watch some football. The Sleeve Monster knows no boundaries and people everywhere should constantly be on the lookout for him and his cousin, the V-Neck Monster. The V-Neck Monster is a terrible creature who rips deep V's into men's clothing normally on the way to their local bar exposing all sorts of man chest I don't need to be seeing.

All joking aside, what the fuck is up with people with no sleeves? We get it, you do curls and bench presses at the gym. You don't need to show us. Some girls may find this attractive, probably not a majority, though I would like to find out a hard statistic on this matter. Regardless, dress yourself. Cut-off shirts were meant for basketball and the beach. Don't wear your sleeveless Under Armor to class or your black beater to the gym. You look like a tool and most people will be making fun of you. Some scrub girl might try to get your number if you have a lot of tattoos of skulls and fire and smoke or something but she probably has the clap or is Hep-C positive. She also probably has bleach blonde hair, a tongue ring and an orange tan. Stop it. We're not on the Jersey Shore and nobody wants to see that.

Hopefully something good will happen when the Bruins raise the Stanley Cup banner tonight and I can write about some wild occurence because the Sleeve Monster has just officially ruined my day. Have a good day and beware of the Sleeve Monster.